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  • Bella Duncan

Resentment

I’ve never wanted to resent my parents for their divorce.


Why? Because resentment is such an intense feeling to hold on to.


Resentment isn’t a feeling you want or need moving forward, beyond your parent’s divorce.



What Is Resentment?


Resentment is that feeling that you get when you’re angry or mad that something has happened.


It’s that bitter feeling of “why did this have to happen to me?”


Resentment can look like:


  • Being angry that your parents are no longer together;

  • Being mad or jealous at the fact that your best mate’s parents are still married;

  • Being frustrated with your parents for their divorce and declining to spend quality time with them.


Resentment isn’t an easy feeling to categorise or describe. It certainly isn’t an easy feeling to experience.


So, why hold on to it?


Why Do I Feel Resentful?


It is normal to feel mad at the world, or your parents, for their divorce.


Every kid of divorce thinks to themselves, “Why me? Why our family?”


It’s how you react to that feeling of resentment that can make all of the difference.


How Do I Push Past Resentment?


Lets break this down into steps:


Step One: Identify what is causing you to feel resentment


Lets take the following example:


You resent the fact that your parents got a divorce.


Step Two: Identify how the feeling of resentment is impacting you


  • Are you irritable?

  • Are you avoiding seeing your parents?

  • Are you avoiding communicating your feelings?


Step Three: Visualise your goals


  • Do you ultimately want to have a good relationship with your parents?

  • Do you want to feel happiness and freedom from negative feelings moving forward?

  • Do you want to push past the negative feelings associated with your parent’s divorce?


Step Four: Put your skills into practice!


Some skills that we’ve talked about developing before:


Communicating your feelings and why you may be feeling them can ALWAYS help

Remember – you are NOT responsible for taking on the negative feelings associated with your parent’s divorce

Accepting your parent’s divorce for what it is will always help you move past feelings such as resentment

Sometimes you may feel resentment because you don’t get to spend enough quality time with your parents. Attempting to spend quality time could help you move past that resentful and longing feeling


You’re Not Alone


Pushing past feelings like resentment is never easy.


Trust me, I still struggle with this!


Remember, there will always be days where things just don’t feel great. That is OK.


When you’re ready, pick yourself back up and incorporate those solid coping mechanisms we’ve chatted about.


You’ve got this, but you’re not alone.


I’m here to listen. Contact me at akidwithtwohomes@gmail.com or submit a contact form here.



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