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  • Bella Duncan

Time

Have you ever felt as though you haven’t spent enough quality time with your parents?


Spending quality time with your parents can be challenging, especially when you are experiencing divorce, separation or family conflict.


However, spending quality time with your parents can also be a great thing. It can help you build your relationships and provide you with the support that you need.


Let’s get personal and break down some simple and stress-free ways you can spend quality time with your parents.


What Do You Mean By Quality Time?

Quality time is meaningful time. It is stress-free, enjoyable and fulfilling.


Spending quality time with someone can make you feel as though you have properly seen them and enjoyed their company.


Quality time can come in many different forms. You might spend quality time by having a conversation about how you are going or what’s new in your world. You may also spend quality time by doing things that you enjoy such as sharing a meal or going for a walk.


Quality time might not always involve talking and getting deep and meaningful. Quality time is what you make it. What quality time means to you is unique to you in your circumstances.


Why Is Quality Time So Important?


Spending quality time can help you build your relationships and provide you with the support that you need.


Quality time allows you to really connect with your parents and make you feel as though you have properly seen them.


If you are experiencing divorce, separation or family conflict you may often feel as though you haven’t ‘seen’ your parents.


Sure, you may have been at dad’s house on the weekend, but you didn’t really spend quality time. And this may be for a range of valid reasons! Life can get busy.


However, setting aside a small amount of time to really catch up with your parents can seriously help strengthen your relationships and mindset.


So, Is It On Me To Make Sure I Spend Quality Time With My Parents?

It is never solely your responsibility to make sure that you spend quality time with your parents.


Sometimes you may feel stressed or guilty, especially when your parents say “I feel as though I haven’t seen you” just as you’re about to leave for your other parents’ home.


This is an entirely unfair feeling and one that you should not have to experience.


Spending quality time with your parents is a two-way street. The fact that you may feel as though you have limited time with your parents is not your fault. You can only control what is in your control.


So, What Is In My Control?


By now, you may have identified that it is important to you that you spend quality time with your parents.


Whilst it is not your responsibility that you spend quality time with your parents, it may be in your best interests to do so. As discussed, it can help you build your relationships and provide you with the support that you need.


It is in your control to determine how you go about spending quality time with your parents.


It is in your control to consider your schedule for the week and determine when will be best for you to spend quality time with your parents.


It is in your control to communicate to your parents when that time may be.


What If I Still Feel Stressed or Guilty That I Haven’t Spent Enough Quality Time With My Parents?


Keep focusing on what is in your control.


Remember, your parent’s happiness is not your responsibility.


You may not be in control of your parent’s feelings, but you are in control of your own.


Do You Even Get It? Let’s Get Personal

Trust me, I get it.


It would be impossible to count the number of times I have said “I haven’t seen dad or “I haven’t seen mum, I can’t make it.”


I have changed and cancelled plans, said no to events and even made my close friends accustomed to the fact that I am generally not free on certain days – all because I have been stressed or feel guilty that I haven’t spent enough quality time with my parents.


The craziest thing of all is that my parents have never done anything to make me feel this way. My parents are constantly reminding me to “live my life.”


Yet, after 19 years of going between two homes, I still struggle with this. So please, know that you are not alone. I get it.


Together, let’s keep focusing on things that we can control.


Some Examples?


Depending on your unique circumstances, spending quality time will look different for everyone.


Some stress-free and simple ways you can spend quality time include:

· Having a coffee or sharing a meal together

· Exercising together - going for a leisurely walk or working out

· Doing an activity that you both enjoy such as:

  • A puzzle

  • Baking

  • Throwing a ball around

  • Watching a movie

· Hanging out in the same area


I’m Here For You!


You are not alone. I really do get it.


Spending quality time with your parents can be a great thing! However, it is not always the easiest thing to get your head around.


If you find it difficult to spend quality time with your parents or don’t know how to do so, please feel free to contact me at akidwithtwohomes@gmail.com or submit a contact form here.






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