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  • Bella Duncan

Acceptance

Accepting the fact that your parents are no longer together can be really tough.

Though, learning to accept this fact will help you propel your life in a direction of your own choosing.

Accepting the series of events that follow a divorce, separation or family conflict can be an extremely big task.

It is tough, but it is also possible.

Let’s break it down.

What Do I Need To Accept?

Acceptance comes in many different shapes and forms.

Let’s say for example:

Your parents are divorced.

First, you want to accept the very fact that your parents are no longer together.

Second, you want to accept all of the potential outcomes that may eventuate from your parents separating.

So, those are two pretty big tasks. Let’s pause for a second and consider the emotions that may be present.

You may be hurt, sad and even angry that your parents have decided to no longer be together. You are not alone.

It is really important to understand that emotion is a product of feeling, caring and love. Being emotional about a situation that significantly impacts your life is OK.

Alternatively, you may choose to ignore your emotions. You may feel as though ‘you don’t even care.’ That is OK too but let’s take a moment to think how much this may hold us back from accepting our situation.

Accepting your situation isn’t easy, regardless of the circumstances. Though, if you can accept, you can shift your focus to what you can control.

Why Do I Have To Accept?

Accepting your parents’ divorce, decisions, actions and conflict will ultimately help you propel your life in the right direction.

You are in control of your life. Whilst the decisions of those around you may impact your life in various ways, it is up to you how you navigate your own journey.

You might be thinking, 'yeah well, it’s not that easy.' And it’s not.

You may be going between two homes or staying in one and not seeing the other parent. Or, you may be visiting your other parent every so often.

Whatever your situation is, it is unique, and nobody can ever take that away from you.

However, this means that it is ultimately up to you to decide whether or not to accept your situation.

Acceptance leads to the understanding that whilst events may impact your life, they will not dictate what you become.

How Do I Accept?

Throughout this blog and many to come, we will be focusing on:

1. What you can control

2. What you can’t control

Focusing on what you can control will help you shift your focus onto what is achievable, realistic and beneficial to your life.

Focusing on what we can’t control is similar to swimming upstream, kicking really (really) hard, and moving nowhere.

Accepting your situation is something that is in your control. Changing the decisions of others is something that is not in your control.

How Many Times Do I Have To Accept?

Personally, I have to accept and re-accept my situation daily.

I accept that my parents don’t live under the same roof every day. Every week I accept that I have to pack, unpack, repack and unpack my bag again. I accept that I have 5 different places to go on Christmas day every year.

I accept these things because by accepting them, I allow myself to focus on my relationships and goals. Two things that are in my control.

Now, this does not mean that you can’t be sad or upset about your situation. You are absolutely entitled to feeling your own unique emotions. Just remember, when you don’t know what to do, focus on what you can control.

You Are Not Alone

Accepting your situation can be hard, but it is possible.

Focusing on what you can control will help you propel your life in a direction of your own choosing.

Acceptance is not a one-time thing; you will likely choose to accept your situation daily.

You are not alone.

Although not being in your shoes, I aim to understand and honour your unique position in this world. Please feel free to contact me by submitting a contact form here.

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