- Bella Duncan
It may seem trivial, however, when you’re a kid with two homes, packing a bag SUCKS!
Often, trivial ramifications that result from divorce, separation or family conflict are overlooked.
Sometimes it is important to acknowledge and accept that trivial ramifications can really have an impact and cause a heap of stress.
Packing may be deemed a ‘first world problem’ but it still sucks.
What Do You Mean By Packing?
Each time I travel between my two homes I have to ensure I have everything I need.
For as long as I can remember, for me this means that on a Wednesday night I pack all the clothes, accessories and ‘random stuff’ I need for Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
For some, this may mean packing simple things such as your toothbrush or facewash. For others it may mean packing your sports uniform for school two days in advance.
Packing is super important, although, it can really suck at times.
Why Does It Suck So Much?
Packing requires responsibility. This can be a good thing! Hell has it taught me to be organised.
However, packing your clothes week in week out can be a constant reminder of the ripple effects that result from divorce, separation or family conflict.
It doesn’t only involve packing once, it involves unpacking, re-packing and unpacking again.
Packing is a responsibility a lot of kids with two homes choose to accept and push through. If this is you, good on you!
If it is not something you freely accept, I get you and I understand.
It can be really tough especially when you forget something you really need.
For example, if you forget to pack something really important such as your socks or your school uniform.
Having to use the excuse ‘Sorry, I forgot my sports uniform at my mum’s’ is not the easiest thing to do and can make you feel a certain way.
Something that is often overlooked is the stresses you may experience when you forget to pack something.
For example, not only are you without the item you need but it may also involve the stress of having your parents communicate.
It may also involve ‘putting your parents out,’ especially if you require your parent to drive you a distance to retrieve the forgotten item.
This stuff can be super stressful and can often lead you to feel angry and upset about your situation.
Packing may seem like a simple task, however, the potential stresses attached aren’t so simple.
“Just Get Two Of Everything”
That is a lovely thought however, not so practical.
You want THAT jumper for your lunch with friends, you need THAT pair of jeans for mufti day.
It is completely impractical to have to buy two of everything and it is not your responsibility to ensure that you do.
Yes, packing sucks but there are ways we can choose to accept it and get into a routine.
So Packing Sucks, What Can I Do?
1. Allow yourself to accept that packing can act as a reminder of the situation you are going through. Allow yourself to accept the emotions that come with it, regardless of how trivial is may appear to others.
2. Get into a routine. Set a specific time aside for when you are going to pack and contribute all of your focus to it. This way, you can minimise the risk of forgetting something and truly be organised, making the situation as best as can be.
3. Once you learn to accept packing and establish a routine, you will be able to complete the task quicker each time. Dreading packing is understandable, however, once it is complete you can confidently be organised and look forward to travelling to your home.
You are Not Alone
Personally, packing is the one thing I dread each week as it acts as a constant reminder of my situation. However, each week I use the tips above and it gets me through.
At the end of the day, I am grateful that I have things to pack and a home to go to.
It is OK if you dread packing, you are not alone.
Although not being in your shoes, I aim to understand and honour your unique position in this world. Please feel free to contact me by submitting a contact form here.