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  • Bella Duncan

Holidays

Going on a holiday can be really exciting!


However, when you’re a kid with two homes, going on a holiday can also be stressful.


You’re probably thinking – but hey! That makes no sense, holidays are supposed to be relaxing.


And that, is exactly right.


Let’s chat about some ways you can enjoy your holidays, irrespective of the parent you’re with.


Wait, How Are Holidays Stressful?


Let’s consider the following example:


Your dad has planned an awesome holiday. It’s going to be for 10 days and it’s your first overseas trip!


Sounds awesome, right?


You’re super excited when dad tells you about this trip.


Then, you think about your mum.


You start to ask questions like:


Is Mum going to be OK whilst we’re gone?


What about our schedule, does this mean we have to make up days with mum when we get back?


Should I feel guilty for enjoying my time away with dad when I know mum is back home?


All of these questions are floating around in your head before you even leave for the holiday.


You finally get on the holiday, still with these questions of concern.


You enjoy the holiday, however, not necessarily to the fullest extent because you’re still thinking about those questions and their outcomes.


You return home, get back into your everyday life and think:

‘Geese, I miss being on a holiday, I wish I let myself enjoy it more.’


How Can I Overcome This Unnecessary Stress?


Three tips:


1. Be present

2. Focus on what you can control

3. Consider what is important to you


Being Present


Remember that feeling we just spoke about? The feeling when you get home and you think ‘geese, I wish I enjoyed my time on holiday more’?

You may be feeling that way because you weren’t present whilst on your holiday.


Not being present can look a little bit like:

· Allowing your thoughts to take you elsewhere, away from the enjoyment that is in front of

you

· Focusing on the unknown future

· Stressing about other people’s feelings


Now, I know that it can be super hard to:

1. Realise you’re not being present and

2. Push your worries aside


However, doing so can make a huge difference to your holiday experience.


Focus on being on your holiday, relaxing, hanging out and enjoying yourself!


Be. Present.

Focusing on What You Can Control


Many of the stresses that come with going on a holiday are usually associated with things that you can NOT control.


Your parents’ happiness – not in your control.

How your parent feels about you going on holiday without them – again, not in your control.


Relinquishing your worries that are associated with things that you can’t control can make all the difference.


Sometimes, merely acknowledging the things that you can’t control can make a difference.


So, instead – focus on what you can control:

- How you will relax on your holiday

- Things you want to do on your holiday

- How you want to communicate with your parent who isn’t on the holiday


You’ve got this.


Consider What Is Important To YOU


Some things that may be important to you include:

· Spending quality time with your parents

· Relaxing and rejuvenating

· Doing things that you enjoy


Going on a holiday can include all of these things!


Whilst you may not be spending quality time with one parent, the opportunity is there with the other. Relax. Rejuvenate. Do things that you can enjoy on a holiday!


You’re Not Alone

Really, you’re not.


I get it. These tips are much easier to put into writing then they were to initially realise over the past 20 years.


But hell, putting them into practice has helped, a lot.


You’ve got this.


Reach out to me at akidwithtwohomes@gmail.com or submit a contact form here.


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